Bari Studio

If reincarnation exists, my father is in his last life because I have never and will never meet anyone so wise. Everything he says is grounded, balanced and forward looking without missing out on the moment. I recognized his sage superpowers from a young age. One of the first lessons he taught me spoke to the difference between being happy and being sad, and it rocked my little world.

He told me that happiness and unhappiness were choices. That you could wake up every day and either live a happy life, or decide to live an unhappy life. That you could decide how to look at the world, and you could choose to allow a sunny day and a rainy day to both fill you with happiness. That you could decide if you would find beauty in the kindness of people and appreciate humans as amazing creatures that give to each other every single day. Or that you could wake up and be unhappy. And not even notice the sun or the rain or the flowers. That you could take people for granted and only see their weaknesses and mistakes.

He also told me I was going to have content days and sad days. Sometimes those days might turn into weeks or months. Deaths, births, celebrations and negative outcomes would all affect my day to day, but circumstances or events could never take away my choice to be happy or unhappy. So long as I continued to choose happiness.

He suggested I choose happiness because, well, the alternative was being unhappy, but also because this choice would bring happiness to those around me. And so I did. Right then and there at 9 years old, I decided I was going to be a happy person. I can’t say I haven’t been faced with unhappiness. There have been moments when I’ve wanted to switch teams (you know, to Team Unhappy) and complain and feel sorry for myself. But I’ve always found the courage to identify those moments as moments of sadness and not let them consume my life and turn me into an unhappy person.

It has also taken practice. I’ve been practicing being happy for about 18 years now, and I’m pretty good at it, but the more I consciously practice, the more it shifts into being my unconscious state of being. And that is the power of choice.

At Bari, we’ll be celebrating the magnitude of choice by putting it at the center of our upcoming monthly inspirations.

Choose happiness. Feel everything — happiness, sadness, bliss, anger and sorrow — but continue to choose to be a happy person. Make sure nothing and no one can take away your intrinsic happiness.

Choose strength. Decide you’re a strong person inside and out. Choose strength and choose willpower. When you want to give up on your goals, choose strength. When you want to lose your patience with your coworker or your kids or partner, choose strength. When you’re planking and feel like your shoulders are turning into jelly, choose strength and hold it for an extra second or two. By choosing strength, you stand up for your continued personal growth.

Choose inspiration. It’s so easy to live life every day without enjoying it at all. To get consumed by work and chores and relationships. But always choose inspiration. On your way to work, don’t ignore the season you’re in; draw inspiration from the changing leaves and the sky. Take a second to look at the thousands of people you walk by, and be inspired by their dedication to their own lives. Choose inspiration in every smile, handshake and “good morning” you get. Choose inspiration in other people’s work, struggles and successes. In music and art. Choose to be inspired, and choose to inspire.

Choose love. Don’t waste time filling your head up with negative thoughts and feelings about people in your life. Choose love. Think about the positive in every person and love those things about them. Choose to love what you do, and if you don’t have that luxury, choose to do something you love. Make time for things that fill your heart – time with your children, time by yourself in a bathtub with a book. Choose to speak to people with love in your voice and your attitude. Choose to bring love to every room you walk into.

Choose balance. Start with a few things in your life that feel unbalanced — maybe you have too little or too much — and seek out balance. When you choose to live in a balanced way, everything becomes less complicated. Eating cake won’t kill you or feel like a big deal if you fill your plate with vegetables most of the time. If you can let go of all-or-nothing mentality we all know too well, you’ll be 10 steps closer to balance.

Choose discipline. It’s so incredibly hard to become habitual at anything, but you have to start by choosing discipline. Tell yourself you are a morning person, choose to be one, and practice getting up early every day with a good attitude. Choose working out as part of your life, set up a schedule and stick to your discipline.

Choose passion. In your job, in your relationships and in your hobbies, choose passion. Find things you are passionate about and pursue them. Choose to jump even if it scares you, but always follow your heart. Choosing passion will have many side effects that will bring you an incredible amount of joy and satisfaction.

Choose knowledge. Learn something every single day. The world is moving and evolving faster than you can imagine, and the wealth of information is too vast for anyone to keep track of. So choose what you care about and commit yourself to continued learning. Choose to read the news in the morning and stay connected to the world around you; it will serve as knowledge and inspiration. Are you eating gluten free? Do you really understand why? Cocaine and uranium are also gluten free, but that doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Don’t fall for buzz words. Be informed and be confident about your educated decisions. Knowledge is power, and it will empower all of your choices.